How Alive? 2 Alive...

So I am finally an award winning porn star.


Well it was The Grabby Awards in Chicago last night and i finally won, not one, but two awards. I was shocked. I won Best Versatile Performer and Best Actor.
The Best Vers. Performer, i can understand, cause i can give it as well as i can take it, so kudos to me for that one, cause my competition was pretty strong. And to anyone that was there and took offence my speech...it was a joke, i don't think I'm better than anyone, hence me being so shocked.
As far as Best Actor... well i just think its silly. I am the worse actor EVER!. I am the definition of bad porn acting. Although, i have yet to see Ivy League (the movie i was nominated for, i think...) maybe, its better than my other stuff? Maybe the people who choose winners are just big fans of bad acting like, you know how gays love the movie "Showgirls". Well same difference here. Who knows, possible they watched the movie on LSD, shrooms or some other mind altering drugs.
Oh Well,Fuck it, I'll take it with pride. Cause shit, who knows when I'm going to get another.
Thanks again to much to Stacey, Mark and all of Gay Chicago!

Anyways, I'm home already and I'm happy to be. I could only take playing that happy porn star bit for so long. I mean, yes i was happy to win, but Jesus, nonstop pictures and attention, its just not me. After the awards I didn't even go out and celebrate. Crazy Right? I went back to my hotel room after the awards to change and it was like i was scared to go back out. I sat on my bed trying to reason why i needed to go back out, but i just couldn't. I didn't wanna do drugs, i didn't want to have sex and i, sure as fuck didn't wanna see anymore porn stars. Not exactly how i planned it in my head but stranger things have happened.