A Final Goodbye, and Questions

A Final Goodbye: All the things i forgot to say

I'm a broken record now but its hard to walk away without saying a few last things.

I'm sorry for who I am.

I'm sorry for who i couldn't be.

I know i said it a million times but i never wanted it to end.

I'm sorry for being to afraid to make the changes needed to make our relationship work.

I know i can say I'm sorry till I'm blue in the face and it will never be enough to make things better. But it goes deeper than me just losing a lover and a best friend but it feel like I'm losing my family. Its that certain sense of comfort that people search their whole lives for, and i had that, with you. That type of love is unmeasurable. Its something i never experienced until meeting you. And...
I know we weren't perfect, god know i personally never will be. But its all our flaws and all our personal quirks that complimented each other and made us strangely perfect for each other. Well at least in my eyes.
I guess the hardest part of walking away is losing all the little things i fell in love with. All those stupid little things you did that someone else might take for granted. I know i am the worst as showing emotions in person, but its all those little things that made my heart beats faster every time you did them. It those little thing that made me say to myself "god, this is why i love him". And now that your not here i regret not saying everything i was thinking. i regret not stealing enough kisses. I regret not saying i love you enough.

To keep it short and simple, I'm sorry for every tear, for every frown, for any second that you felt lonely. I'm sorry for ruining your life.
You have said to me so many times that you deserve better and its hard for me to admit it, but i agree.
My life will never be the same without you, i can only wish that your life is better without me.

I will never forget you

"we crack a smile and then our hands let go....."

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Answering questions to avoid being a one dimensional character:

What do i hate besides porn, music and the gym?
Well i think you missed the point somewhere, but i love the gym and music. I just hate my gym and a bunch of the silly faggots that go there. As for music, dude, music is my life, IBM not sure where you got that from. As for porn, yeah, i guess i hate porn.
As for what else i hate...damn there is alot and i could be here all day, so just keep reading I'm sure I'll hit on everything at some point or another.

What is the last book that i read?
I don't read books. My attention span just can't handle them. But i do read alot of magazines religiously. Blender (its like watching v-h1 but in magazine form) GQ (yet i still have no style beyond looking like a dude to old to be wearing band t-shirts and dressing like a skater. Yet, could i dress my ex and make him look amazing) Muscle and Fitness (obviously)

What city/country do i want to visit that i haven't?
Well i miss London and i always wanted to go to Berlin. And its funny cuz i planned on go to both in the near future with the traveling party called Hustlerball. The jobs required me to basically dance on stage naked, which i wasn't into, but i figured, if i got a free trip out of it and a performance fee, it would be worth it. Until they tell me the performance fee is 100 euro. Which was like slapping me in the face. After i read the performance contract also it said that i would also have to be shacked up with another model, which was also insulting. So i countered there cheap offer with agreeing to the rate but i would require my own room. They cheaply denied me. Cheap fucks. Sorry London and Berlin, maybe I'll see you in the future.

What do i think about religion?
I think the world likes playing a big game a make believe. Jesus was an early version of David Blaine. I pity the people that dedicate there lives to something has been completely disproven.

Vitamins?
I take so many vitamins and supplements its crazy.
I guess I'll just list them: Whey and Casein Protein, Creatine, BCAA's, NO, Glutimine, Eurycoma Longifolia Jack, Forskolin, 6,17 Keto, 6-oxo, Phosphatidylserine, Taurine, blah blah blah.

(i give up on the rest of the questions, lol)