A World of Fuck Dolls

Who remembers RealDolls™? They were a big splash in the news (certainly in the Sydney Morning Herald) about ten years ago. RealDolls are uber-realistic sex dolls. I recall it all started when some model-maker (my old trade) realised that the new epoxies and urethanes that spookily replicated flesh could be used to make something infinitely more realistic than those nasty inflatable dolls. RealDolls weren't cheap of course, with each costing in the vicinity of US$5000. But people paid and RealDoll seems to be thriving with assorted new 'big-eyed' models that, to all intents and purposes, are as close to underage dolls that they can get without being obvious. I don't doubt that the fellow who came up with RealDoll made a lot of money - and probably contrived some bullshit disappear-up-it's-own-arse logic to explain the rightness of it all as well.


Truth is, RealDoll is merely an X-rated version of the Pygmalion myth, best known to people in it's tarted up version, My Fair Lady (from the pen of everyone's favourite Fabian Socialist, George Bernard Shaw). The Pygmalion myth might loosely be described as a fellow's desire to have a partner who can shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch. Don't be alarmed there, it's just me channelling a self-obsessed git. And that's where RealDoll's head is at, so to speak. It frees a person from having to consider their partner, and allows them to be as mad and self-absorbed as can be. With a RealDoll, 'It's all about me'. There's a documentary out there featuring various RealDoll owners and you'll be hard-pressed finding a sorrier line-up of losers anywhere.


Mind you, the astoundingly life-like properties of the new urethanes are no longer anything special. The samples that blew my mind at the pattern-making suppliers back in the early nineties are a given now. The big deal lately is the animation of the simulacra. Japan seems to be leading the way in this regard. If you've ever seen Honda's Asimo robot running up and down stairs you can't help but be impressed. And lately the news carried a report about the life-like 'Repliee Q1' who sat demurely in a chair and answered questions. Wow - imagine her with fuck-able orifices! Hot diggety!


Eventually we'll arrive at Repliee Q10 and finally the shortcomings of the perpetually passive RealDoll will be done away with. Not only will your sex partner be able to shut the fuck up, but will fuck like a monkey too! At last blow-jobs that, a) don't involve you having to do all the work, as with the RealDoll, and b) are free of all the coughing, spluttering, and complaining that comes with a real person. Dig it - it's a cum-spattered E-ticket for an X-rated Disneyland. And all in the comfort of your own home!


To hell with the real world. To hell with Buddha's dukkha and the fear/anxiety that accompanies things being other than I would wish. I refuse to see the world as it is. Instead I posit myself as a god and recreate the world to according to my whims - everything must bow down (or bend over) before me. Thus spake Zarathustra, ha ha.