"But Mu-u-um! Jane's parents are letting her go to the Klerihoolapalooza!"

Paris Hilton is a fan. So is Miley Cyrus. Daniel Radcliffe says they're like the coolest thing ever. For those who don't know, we're talking about clerihews. Say the high priests of the time-honoured, gone-in-sixty-seconds oxymoron we call 'youth culture', clerihews are the next big thing. Frankly this is mixed news for lovers of clerihews: on the one hand there will be more of them; and on the other hand, every word will be spelt with the characters k, z, U, 8, and : )

Next year will see the massive Klerihoolapalooza!™ roadshow, Lady GaGa's clerihew CD I'm Kleri-me, Kleri-you, Kleri-who?, as well as the UN sponsored U2 ⚡ MKleriZOO world tour, a satire with the band as imaginary MKULTRA zombies tasked by their luciferian masters with the soundtrack for a genocidal new world order. And to cap it all off there's the much-anticipated cinema release of the all-clerihew Twilight - I Bight.

What with yours truly always being ahead of the grooviness curve, I thought the least I could do was give everyone a head start so that next time they talk to a teenager they may do so as shining, glib-tongued paragons of contemporaneity.