sexiest woman room

Lately it's all been about Russia. I shan't go into the Ossetia/Georgia thing. There's been tons written about it. It seems the thoughts run the gamut from it having been a neocon/Israeli trap for the Russians (that they fell into), to it being a huge misstep by the neocons with Putin tearing their playhouse down. I'm inclined to the latter but stand to be corrected. I don't think the Georgians did anything that they weren't meant to do. The slaughtering of the people of Tskhinvili was always the plan. It served no purpose at all beyond its role as provocation. Did the neocons/Israelis expect some different response from Russia? Or did Russia behave precisely as they expected? Frankly, I don't know.

But to hell with that. What struck me was the constant description (in all of the coverage, mainstream and alternative) of Russia as resurgent and newly powerful thanks to its oil revenue. Sorry, I'm going to have to call bullshit on this one.


The logic is that since oil prices have been high for the last couple of years, Russia's coffers are full and it can throw its weight around. But oil has always been a coffer-filler, recent bullshit prices or no. Were other oil rich countries poor ten years ago? Is oil a new thing in Russia? Did they only just discover it? Or perhaps they only just got round to refining and pipelining it? I'm being rhetorical, sure, since these questions have obvious answers.

The huge, glaring, and frankly unmissable difference between the Russia of ten years ago and today is who is running the joint. Ten years ago under the drunken Yeltsin, Russia was ruled by the Oligarchs, otherwise idiotically known as the Russian Mafia. I say 'idiotically' because to describe this Mafia as 'Russian' makes as much sense as describing the Mafia in the US as 'American'. Who does that? The Mafia in America is Italian and everyone knows it. Same-same in Russia where everyone knows that their Mafia was, and is, Jewish.

Of the seven oligarchs in Russia under Yeltsin, six were Jewish and the seventh wasn't worth tuppence ha'penny. In fact he was only on the list so that people could pretend it wasn't an all Jewish affair. (Much like how North Korea was only in the 'axis of evil' to hide the obviousness of a bunch of Jews telling us all our enemies are Muslims. Truth is, no one actually gives a toss about North Korea.)


Anyway, the big difference between Russia of ten years ago and today is the fact that Putin threw out the Jewish Mafia. It's so fucking obvious. And as ever, the bloc-media misses the elephant in the living room. Well, shit, eh? No surprises there. But never mind the media, the truly extraordinary thing here is that within the space of a mere ten years a country can go from bullshit to bullish.

Gosh! A light-bulb goes off in my head. Has this happened before? Has there been another country that went from basket-case to world power after deposing Jewish control of their economy? Anyone? Can we think of a country, a few decades back, that was busted on its arse with everyone taking their weekly pay home in a wheel-barrow, and a mere ten years later was strong enough to stand up for themselves? Might they, like the Russians, have insisted on the rights of their countrymen trapped behind arbitrary borders? Might they also, like those Russians again, have been depicted by the Jewish media as villains? Ha ha ha ha ha. Sorry, but with the shit we've been fed by the media all our lives, if you didn't laugh, you'd have to cry.


So it seems we have two recent examples of countries throwing off the yoke of bankers and money-men, and in the space of a mere ten years going from zero to a hundred. As a writer, I do detest presenting examples in pairs. Pairs are good for dichotomies and symmetries and such. But ordinarily, to prove a case it pays to present examples in threes. If you pay attention, you'll find I very rarely break this rule. Subsequently I racked my brains looking for a third example. And I couldn't think of any. Not in the past anyway. The future is another matter. What country has the potential to shed its busted-arse status and return to economic powerhouse (and complete my rule of three)?

Here is the salutary lesson - If a country throws off the yoke of Jewish control of its economy/money supply, it can rebuild itself in ten years. Roll that thought around in your head because it's a mind-fucker. Only ten years...


What one man can do, another can also. Is the US really incapable of doing what the Russians did? I don't see why not. If the US was to throw off the bankers, it would join Russia and China as a free sovereign nation. Could those who wrote the Protocols survive in the face of the biggest three powers in the world not being under their control? There's hope yet, you know.

So I'm better.


Its back to my normal routine and i feel like I'm just play a game of catch up. I have put 10 pound back on so I'm not as depressed as i was earlier in the week but by no means do i feel happy go lucky. In fact i am just super pissed off at the world and as much as i would love a pull a Michael Douglas in one of my favorite movies "Falling Down", i have just simply been walking around in quiet contempt of everything and everyone. I been dreading simple conversations in the fear of just snapping. I can't help for reading most of this world as fake, i can't stand it.
Not to mention it seems like i have a whole new batch of readers that wanna save me, well let me be the first to say this is the wrong fucking time to reach out to me and trying to work your voodoo.

Maybe I'm bitter over me and Danny going our separate ways again? I don't think so. The fucking kid got mad at me for me yelling at a telemarketer who called my cell phone. Like, are you insane? What am i allowed to be pissed off at? I fucking allow people to invade my personal space every fucking day and i just let it pass cuz I'm trying to be nice, well fuck that and fuck him. Where do i draw the line or do i let myself suffer until there is not a single ounce of me left? I'm tired of being walked on, I'm tired of playing pussy boy. I refuse to sit here as the quiet whipping boy, while everyone gets what they want except me. I offer everything i got, right down to my last dollar and all i get in return is being told to shut up?
I can't. I have so much to say and no one to say it to, and you don't wanna listen? Then why the fuck do i need you in my life? I'll just cut you out like everyone else. I'm so much better alone... at least i keep trying to convince myself that. Maybe I'm not better alone but at least i know I'm better without you.

Sorry for that little rant. If you could see what a huge push over i could be, you would more than likely laugh at me. Obviously I'm tired of it, and honestly i could use someone new in my life. I watch a bunch of these other porn stars make you tube videos about there happy new love interests and i wonder to myself "why is it so hard for me". Granted i pick everyone to shreds in my head when I'm no prize pig myself. I can't help it. Maybe its just obvious that i have a couple storage units full of baggage and that's why people keep there distance? Maybe everyone is saying the same thing i say about them? Maybe these guys look at me and say, "shit i have nothing in common with him, so why waste my time". Granted if you are some pop diva worshipper, yeah keep your distance but i can tolerate alot, I dated a fucking cheerleader for Christ sake and they can almost technically be called inhuman.

*** In response to readers: I'm not the "why me" type. My comments are just based on frustration of not understanding simple human emotions. I'm not giving up though. I'm not going to bury my head in the sand and fly my white flag. This blog is basic inner monologue.

I don't know where this is going, i just felt like bitching, I'm done for now.

My heart bleeds for Israel. And never more so than now. Israel currently faces a dilemma unlike any it has faced before. Previously Israel's enemies adopted various battlefield strategies, only to see them all fail. This is because they picked the wrong battlefields. Only one battlefield counted, and that was that of public perception.

Israel, by way of the Jewish bloc-media, always held that theatre. They set the terrain, made all the rules, and decided all the outcomes. Thus Israelis were ever the blameless victims whose evil enemies deserved whatever spectacular viciousness the Israelis inflicted upon them. The US congress would applaud and send yet more money in honour of Israel's plucky selfless gallantry.

But lately an extraordinary thing has taken place. The Israelis face a battlefield not of their own contrivance. They don't own the theatre anymore. A group called Free Gaza has seized the initiative. They will sail their boat 'The Free Gaza' into Gazan waters and deliver relief supplies to the Palestinians. The Israelis are faced with a situation that will attract world attention and in which they cannot cast themselves as victims. Regardless of what they do they will lose. Do they stop the boat, board it and arrest everyone? Do they let it sail on? It's the cleverest thing since Octavian sent Mrs Antony to visit Mr Antony at Cleopatra's Palace. The Israelis are, like Antony was, shit up a creek.

Of course this goes against God. It certainly goes against his chosen people. And God pity any people who have the temerity to deny Jewish people the right to control how others view them. Death is the least they deserve. With this in mind, and in a spirit of wishing to do my humble best for the greatness of the Jewish nation and people, I have come up with the following cunning plan. By my best count it is a three-fer and, by way of money, everyone should make out like bandits. Israel will sink the Free Gaza and blame it on Iran.

Here's the plan -

1 - Find an old F-14 Tomcat and transport it to a secure Israeli air-force base. Ideally it'll be in going condition. Paint it up in Iranian Air Force colours. This will be packed with explosives and flown into an Israeli coastal town after the attack. Make sure you have cameras on hand. This should provide spectacular footage.

2- Tell the Americans to provide two Stealth fighters to fly 'stealth' into Iran and 'non-stealth' out of it, crossing Iraq to coincide with the attack. They don't go anywhere near the ship and actually land in Israel. Find out what kind of payload a Stealth can carry. Perhaps you can use them to fly some drugs in? I'm just trying to maximise the profit aspect of each part of this exercise. Ideally each compartment will pay for itself. And when the US Air Force comes for free, so much the better.

3 - To ensure the stand-down of the US military, announce the first annual 'Israel Congratulates America' holiday and gala performance to fall on the day before the Free Gaza is to be sunk. This year's honorees are to be the brave US military personnel who've done so much to heroically bring freedom to the people of the Middle East. The US can fly them in from Iraq and any other places where they might be able to put a stopper in the plan. Organise a gala performance with Barbra Streisand and a host of A-listers. This will provide brilliant media footage of thousands of ecstatic US military personnel in full-dress rig waving Israeli flags. All military personnel are to be provided with a 'personal assistant' for the duration of their stay. I'm thinking the individual officers can fill out a preference questionaire beforehand asking about whether they prefer a male or female PA. The PA's will be responsible for the date-rape drugging of their charges who will then be photographed in bed with children. They'll each wake up to the news of the Iranian attack and a quicktime of their own personal child blowjob. Ever the loyal servants of Israel, they.

5 - Before the bombing, jam all the Free Gaza's radio frequencies. The Israeli Air Force now bombs the Free Gaza. The first target should be its communications ability. Then napalm the decks. Have helicopter gunships machine-gun the lifeboats and any survivors. Finally, fire a missile that will definitely sink it. Just in case it doesn't sink keep John McCain on hand to handle the cover up. His father did a cracking job last time round in '67.

6 - Launch an hysterical media campaign about Iran's shock sinking of the Free Gaza. The line will be - Iranian militants violently opposed to the Free Gaza's spirit of non-violent resistance, and in support of their terrorist Hezbolla allies, have sunk the Free Gaza killing all on board. One Iranian plane will be nominally shot down at sea by the Israeli Air Force, heroically doing the job that the Americans seemed incapable of doing. The pilot of the other F-14 will take the role of suicide bomber with his plane crashed by remote-control into an innocent Israeli town killing six million people (just joking. Would 600 people be about right? I'll go with your call on this.)

7 - Casus Belli Mission Accomplished! There's nothing for it now but to have Israeli kids write their cute messages of hate on the nosecones of the Iran-bound nukes.

And there you have it! A public relations disaster turned into a public relations victory. The battlefield initiative retaken. Those who thought they could take on the Jewish state in the theatre of public perception will have been taught a lesson. And anyone out there thinking they might do likewise, will know the price to be paid. And all it took was ambition to the point of hubris, a preparedness to kill innocents and sacrifice one's own people, a mastery of blackmail and it's subsequent control of a US military golem, a millenia-long superior ability to play the victim, and finally, the utter certainty that God's chosen people can do no wrong.

God I hate the media. And sure enough, that was the angle I took when I wrote about this topic previously. The point of that piece was to wonder at the nature of the media's discussion of paedophilia. Did you get the gag in that sentence? It was the word 'discussion', ha ha ha. How droll I am. There is no discussion. Well, there might be, but who can hear it with all the high-pitch screaming?


I vaguely concentrated on the media's role in making us hysterical about penny-ante pervies (and particularly a famous non-pervy artist) whilst astoundingly having nothing to say about the plummeting age of pubescence amongst girls. And they do this whilst also encouraging these ever younger girls to dress and behave sexily. It struck me that they were simultaneously debauching the victims, and the victimisers, whilst having the rest of us lose our wits at the prospect of this debauchery. But what did it all mean? And to what end?


Certainly the media desires us all to be fearful. Between toilet germs, appearing uncool in the eyes of teenagers, and those foreigners who hate us for our freedom, there's a lot they'd have us fearful of. But in the fear stakes, paedophiles win. It's every parent's nightmare that their child might be taken. But truth be known - there are paedophiles, and there are paedophiles - if you can dig it.


It seems that lately, the most numerous targets of our fear (certainly in the news) are those sad fuckers with hard-drives full of jpegs and mpegs. Every couple of months there'll be a big bust and dozens of guys will be hauled away. We've no idea if these people ever actually get away from their computers and fiddle with kids for real. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. Who knows? Has anyone heard a 'discussion' by the media about paedophiles who started with computer porn and then progressed into sexual assault? If there were such creatures, could the media pass up an opportunity to crucify them in public?


The other targets are less numerous. They're those sad fuckers who probably don't know how to use a computer and are the traditionalist playground pervies. You've seen these people. The media loves to tell us where they live so we can go and burn their houses down. Keep in mind that the media does not distinguish between the traditionalists and the digitally literate. That's just me. Just like I'm the only guy who'll ask, how many of these old-fashioned street-wandering pervies are there in our communities? Half of fuck-all? Just curious.


Oh yeah. I nearly forgot. There's a third category. These are the basilisks - the monsters of our nightmares - those creatures that beggar the imagination. Like Mark Dutroux. What sets basilisks like Dutroux apart is the fact that he operated as part of a 'network'. Perhaps it was just me, but when the Dutroux story was on the news, I recall saying to whomever I was with, 'How do these guys meet each other?' It's a fair question. Can we imagine a social event where one fellow casually says he spent the weekend kiddy-raping and another fellow says, 'Hey, me too. We should hang out.' The best I could figure was that they might meet in jail. But Dutroux hadn't been in jail and somehow he knew a lot of people. How does this work? What the fuck is going on?


As ever, the man with the answers is the mighty Dave McGowan. Dutroux is not an anomaly. If anything he's a cog in a machine. And it's a big machine and has cogs beyond counting. This child-abduction ring is not only massive, which is to say, global - it is also untouchable. We know this because occasionally a local branch would be busted - Dutroux in Belgium, the 'Finders' in Florida and Washington DC, the McMartin pre-school scandal in New York, military child care centres in the Presidio and West Point, the Country Walk Babysitting Service in Florida, etc, etc, ad nauseam. These were too big for the media to avoid. McGowan follows the trajectory of the media coverage of each of these busts as they slowly but surely sink beneath the waves. With the utmost diligence, the media would ensure that trails were not followed, facts were not uncovered, and questions were not asked. All these stories disappeared with barely a trace. In the media, these rings were not interconnected. There were no links connecting the paedophiles with the local police and government, the FBI, the CIA, the Pentagon, or the Whitehouse. Same, same, internationally. There were no links between the US and Belgium or any other countries. Like the US News said, in discussing the 'Finders' - "The group's practices, the police said, were eccentric - not illegal.” Story? What story? Apart from some crazy parents led astray by crazy child therapists, nothing happened. None of it ever was.


In the face of this third category it seems like the first two are barely different at all. Fine, let's start again: there's two paedophilias. One's amateur, small-time and the subject of much media screaming. The other is huge, professional, sanctioned, and untouchable. Ideally, never the twain shall meet. Not in real life, not in the media. Further to these differences, the individual sad fuckers we see in the media do not grow their numbers. It's a movement almost completely incapable of self perpetuation, certainly not of flourishing. I'm guessing they'll never go beyond a tiny decimal point of the population. The Pedophocracy is something else. It can reproduce and swell its population. It has defence mechanisms to combat environmental depredations such as getting busted. Provided it stays in the dark, it fears nothing.


The media is an inverse perception machine. The tiny threat is made huge. The huge threat is shrunk down to nothing at all. If you want to know how big the pedophocracy is, you need merely look to its treatment in the media.

Are we suprised? Does any of this differ from other things?
-Muslims, a tiny 'threat', are enlarged into Al Qaeda. Zionists (Who? Aren't they, like, out of fiction or something?) perpetually pop up in all over the globe (Georgia, this week!) and yet seem not to exist. Small threat - Big. Big threat - non-existant.
-Small-time drug users and sellers get busted in huge numbers. Massive sanctioned drug operations, from the Sassoons of yore, to the 'Russian' mafia of today, carry on unconcerned about exposure. Small problem - Big. Big problem - non-existant.
-Taxpayer pennies for welfare mothers is ever the standby bogeyman while the staggering amounts of taxpayer bazillions as interest to privately-owned reserve banks are... are... what? What privately-owned Reserve Bank? Small money - Big. Big money - non-existant.


Is there a pattern here? Sure, of course. But the three examples immediately above make sense in terms of money, power, and geo-politics. Where's the logic in the pedophocracy? What purpose does this huge machine serve? How does raping kids further someone's agenda? Agenda for what? More kiddy raping? What's the point? And why does the media expend energy on the penny-ante end of paedophilia at all? Why not hush it all up? Why are there two parallel paedophilias? Why not have just one and keep it secret?


These are all good questions and I'm glad you asked them. But there are other questions too. Subsequently I've split this thing up into three. Next I'll have a go at the bigger picture of what purpose it all serves. Following that, I'll ask what it means in terms of Charles Darwin. You know the guy - beard, Beagle, behaviour. If a thing doesn't get his tick, it doesn't fly. Does paedophilia get a tick from Darwin? Really?

So I'm sick as fuck.

I been over working my body as of recently so I'm not to surprised recent fever, but it fucking sucks. I've been 103 for the last 2 days and it feel like my brain is melting in my head. My whole body is sore and every time i cough it feels like someone is kicking me in the head.
Honestly I'm surprised i have been sick for this long. I'm to strong for this. Anyways I'm upset, over the weight I'm losing due to the fact i can barely hold down a meal. I've run out of protein mix and i honestly don't have the strength to walk down to the corner and pick some up.
This always happens also, i bust my ass to get my weight up, only to get sick, lose the weight and struggle to put it back on. Sometimes i wished i didn't care.

Thankfully my ex Danny has been taking care of me. Nothing is worse than being sick all alone. He has honestly been so good to me, and i love him so much for it. Yeah, i might be the big strong tough guy but sometimes i need to be babied. It lets me know that at least someone cares. God its nice to know someone cares.

PS. Save the HIV asumptions and Danny comments to yourself. You guys are so predictable.

Hi Folks - Sorry I've been slack and idle. I took a week off in honour of the Greek goddess Aergia.

But I'm on the job now and shall be back shortly to post a piece under the above title. If you want to get a headstart, read this. This gives you the first six chapters of Dave McGowan's Programmed to Kill, one of the most singular books ever written. I never tout things, but this is worth spending money on. It's on amazon.com.


These six chapters collectively titled 'The Pedophocracy' might just be the Rosetta Stone in explaining the means by which today's wickedness is conducted. Or that's my angle anyway. Back soon.

its been awhile...


Jesus, for once i don't have much to say. My monotonous routine has me fucking brain dead again. Basically nothing has changed in my life except what the date is and it feel pretty sad. No sex and no drugs. Its doesn't feel like me. I feel watered down. I'm not exactly happy but I'm filling my time with enough nonsense to keep me from being depressed. I have almost mastered the skill of being able to crack a believable fake smile at a seconds notice and i think its probably the best skill one could ever obtain. It has been a great way to blend in and keep the topic off how miserable i have been. Its weird as much as i don't mind talking about my life on here i rather not talk about it in person. Which only makes it more weird since more and more people have been approaching me with printed out pieces of this blog looking to talk about it. It honestly makes me feel stupid and embarrassed.
It like trying to explain a train wreck. I don't know how i got here? I don't know why i do half the shit i do? To be honest i don't wanna know. I just wanna forget.

Anyways, in all my free sober and sexless time i have forced myself to consider change. Something that will better me as a person and hopefully break this stupid cycle of lows and extreme lows. My goal is now to meet myself somewhere in the middle. I'm tired of living in my own personal hell and I'm sure as shit i will never fit in, in heaven so Purgatory is cool with me. I think i have talked about it a couple times already, it just taking that first step. Waking up to a dead world at sunrise and starting over. Erik Rhodes is dead and I forget every part of that old life, like it was a bad dream I woke up in the middle of, saying "thank god that wasn't real". Its time to move on.

I have a few ideas of what i wanna do with myself that I'm semi excited about that should suite me. I really would like to talk about them but once i move on, I'm gonna move on and not look back. Sorry to say i don't think I'm gonna allow anyone to follow. Come on, if i end up working a 9-5 i doubt readers will wanna here me bitch about my cubical or how much i wanna kill my manager anyways.
You know Kurt Cobain was onto something, "its better to burn out than fade away". I understand it and respect it. I rather not be doing porn and writing a blog so long that slowly people lose interest. Jesus think if Nirvana was still around and what shit albums they might be making? But their not, cause Kurt pulled the plug at the right time. Hey, and that's life i guess, live and blend in or kill yourself when the time is right and be the voice of your generation.
I think it would be alot harder to deal with if i ended up being just another dick in the orgy scene, having vicious blogger writing i'm to old and washed up or even just knowing no one is listening cause i barely have anyone reading my blog. I'm smart enough to know i have hit my high note, i have made my mark and i think its time to walk away proudly... well as proud as i can given my lifestyle.