On Wed, Feb 9, 2011 at 3:45 PM, N's buddy C wrote:

Posted by Unknown Rabu, 09 Februari 2011 0 komentar

Hey N,

Thought this would appeal to you...

Xxx C
Subject: [S] Threat Levels

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

**** Klein

Hullo C,

It's poor of me I know, but as I read this I knew it had been written by a Jewish person. And sure enough I get to the bottom of the attachment and there's the name L***s Klein right there. I know it's all meant to be light and frothy but I can't help but be struck by the irony of a Jewish person who thinks it's fine to make sweeping racist jokes about others but who would, in turn, view any jokes about Jewish people as an unforgivable sin.

Here's a list of quotes from the talmud. Would it be okay if I tailored one of them into that gag? Never mind the Italians as feckless cowards, how about this: When you go to war do not go as the First, but as the last, so that you may return as the first? Italians - Jews - fair's fair, isn't it?

I guess the difference between me and everyone else is that I'm of the opinion that there are two racisms. Firstly there is the one which may be discussed (and condemned of course) and that is the racism of the majority against the minority. And you know me, I'm against it sure. But the other variety is never discussed with most not even aware that it exists. This other is the racism of the minority against the majority. I'm talking here particularly of any multi-generational minority that has, as central to its identity, a refusal to join with whomever it is they live amongst. They are perpetually the 'other' and possessed of an eternal, without-it-we-are-nothing 'us and them' mindset. I'm sure you know what I mean.

I actually wrote about this other racism you know. You should read that, it's quite good - I don't mention Jews at all. Oh, and the author of the book I discuss there, Amy Chua, is the same woman currently embroiled in her silly Chinese-Mums-Are-Superior brouhaha. For me I'm entirely unsurprised since I'd pegged her as a racist from day one. She married a Jewish chap by the way. Anyway, her book World On Fire is an apologia for the racism of the minority and I basically tear it a new one.


The thing is you see, is that once you acknowledge the racism of the minority everything changes and the discussion shifts into whole new realms. Indeed it's an arguable position that an us-and-them minority, hugely impressed with their own greatness and fearful of subsumation, would benefit from fostering the racism of the majority in order to stoke their own us-and-them fires and thus keep the flock together. Or to put it another way, in a wolf-free environment, with the flock wandering hither-and-yon, it would pay to manufacture one. And they do, believe it or not.

In fact it's my opinion that the majority isn't particularly racist at all and left to themselves will enjoy each other's food, marry each other's sons and daughters, and pretty much get on just fine. If they're left to their own devices, that is. But they never are. Instead we have an endless stream of people, Jewish more often than not, endlessly stoking the fires with their particular variety of under-the-radar racism. That link is just one example but it would be the easiest thing in the world to swamp you with an endless stream of more-of-the-same.

Sorry for being so tiresome mate. There you are thinking this is jolly and N will like it and what do I do? Tear strips off it! Terrible Terrible.

But it gets worse! What with not having put anything on the blog for ages it suddenly occurred to me that this was just the ticket and, believe it or not, I whacked it on the front page. If you were wondering why I was replying at such length (and in such a pompous tone) well there you go. I was addressing the masses, ha ha.

best,

n

PS. I should also mention that this gag has as its foundational starting point Muslims as crazed terrorists who hate us for our freedom. Don't argue because it's clear that as far as the gag is concerned there's nothing wrong with the idea of alert levels per se. Instead it merely wants us to laugh at the idiocy of the various races in failing to respond to them. I have told you that I think Al Qaeda is a con yeah? Bin Laden was always a CIA asset and he's been dead ten years. Did you know that the current big wheels in Al Qaeda are Jewish? I wrote about Adam Pearlman already and the other big deal, Yousef al-Khattab aka Joseph Cohen, you'll have to google for yourself. I mean honestly mate, if Al Qaeda is so desperate for mad Muslims that they have to recruit Jews, then - bloody hell! - it's as fake as a two-bob watch. Honestly!

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The IMF - a statistical analysis

Posted by Unknown Rabu, 19 Januari 2011 0 komentar
The holiday from reality is over and now we're back into it. Whilst I try to make sense of, and hack away at, the latest absurdly long and self-obsessed piece, please enjoy this truly marvellous entry I screen-grabbed from statcounter. Click on the image to get a legible rez.


Nice one, eh? It's my opinion that if you have a blog it's worth having an entry containing the words 'israel' and 'cock' if for no other reason than to see who searches for such things. Admittedly searches for 'israeli cock' come from all over but what's odd is nearly all of the hits I get from the Middle East arrive looking for Israeli cock. In this case my conundrum is: are they Muslim or Jewish? Do Muslims dream of Israeli cock? It's possible. But then again Israelis are everywhere. They travel like a coprophiliac Tom Joad, "Wherever there's a goyim's place un-shat in, we'll be there." And when you're stuck in your hotel room with no assassinations on the horizon, and the carpet, bed, and furnishings already covered in faecal matter, what are you going to do? Get on the net and find some 'israeli cock' of course!


But thinking about it - who the fuck does that? Which is to say, who searches for a specified, non-exotic, home-brand cock? Do Australians cock-searchers specifically look for Australian cock? I'm going to call that one as no since an article entitled 'Australia sucks Israel's cock' is just as likely to deliver those searching for 'australian cock' as the israeli version, and yet I get half of fuck-all searches for it, and none from Oz (that I recall). In comparison, it's a pretty rare arrival from Israel that hasn't come in search of 'israeli cock'. Don't worry about the irony, it's running rampant and can look after itself.


Irony aside, are we surprised? Jews wrote the book on racism (it's called the Talmud, ha ha) and Israel is the living embodiment of that book. Is there anything in the Talmud about cocks? "Any Jew who takes a goyim cock up the jacksy on the Sabbath should be killed." I just made that up but it wouldn't surprise me if the Talmud didn't have all manner of proscriptions which, depending on: jewish or goyim; circumcised or uncircumcised; shagger or shaggee; sabbath or non-sabbath; etc etc. would then declare each given variation of cock-chasing a sin or a virtue. Not forgetting of course that Jehovah would be in awe of anything the Talmud would have to say on the subject. The Talmud says so.


'But!' I hear you say, "What's all this crap about the Talmud? This is just some individual from the IMF and you don't even know if they're Jewish." Well that is true. But who gives a shit? I only know two things: the only hit I ever got from the IMF was looking for israeli cock: and whoever it was was stupid enough not only to try and find it via google but to also click on my obvious non-sex site in the process.


Or to put it another way, 100% of IMF visits to this blog have been made by cock-obsessed, racist fuckwits. Don't argue, the statistics are bullet-proof. Ha!

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Merry Clerihew!

Posted by Unknown Kamis, 23 Desember 2010 0 komentar

Well, that was the clerihew year that was: so many sparkling moments, so many of the world's movers and shakers and other sodomites reduced to four lines of nonsense poetry.

The little dog barked to see such fun, indeed. And quite right too.

May your cow jump over your moon and your dish run away with your spoon.

Merry Clerihew Christmas and a Happy Clerihew-less new year.



George Dubya Bush
And his cheerleader tush.
In the Skull & Bones Den
Was all things to all men.




Dick Cheney
Eany-meany brainy.
Best wishes of long life and health
Somehow come out as "Go fuck yourself!"




Osama Bin Laden's
Statue, Kew Gardens.
A quiet public thanking
From a grateful Global Banking.




Bono
Sunnies-A-Go-Go.
He has more of those Armani glasses
Than could be pushed up four grown men's arses.




Little Johnny Howard
Over midgets towered.
His motto as sidekick hick:
"I speaks oftly and carry a pig's dick."




David Sassoon
Was wont to dragoon
HM's navy, under Admiral Winchup,
As thugs to smack his chink bitch up.




Joan of Arc
Burned in the dark.
Sexy bovver bitch
With legs by Milla Jovovich.

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"A Clerihew? Oh darling, it's... just what I always wanted!"

Posted by Unknown Senin, 20 Desember 2010 0 komentar

Today in Clerihew Club we match the clerihews below with each of the famous quotes about them. First correct entry gets a free copy of The Firm-Buttocked Clerihew by Sir Joshua Reynolds.* (*not really).

"Gentlemen, I give you the clerihew! Pray do not look away!"

"Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Clerihew, Ein Verrücktwerden Abwesenheit von Reim oder Versmaß."

"Bugger the humidity, it's those bloody clerihews! Won't they ever stop?"

"Every goy who studies the clerihew and every Jew who helps him in it, ought to die."

"The Thinking Crumpet's Clerihew"

Scarpia: Ascolta mi, un ultimo clerihew...
Tosca: Mori! Mori!



Hillary Rodham Clinton
Nutty for badminton.
On her Thailand travel blog
Just one word: Shuttle!Cock!




General George Petraeus,
Sure he may dismay us.
But not like Party B
In the case of Bomber v. Bombee.




It's BON-o
Doncha know.
Sponsored by 7-Eleven™
The Great Sage and Equal of Heaven™




George Herbert Walker Bush
Didn't need a push.
There's no place he'd not destroy
For a pre-pubescent boy.




Julia Eileen Gillard
+ 1 spouse / beard.
Most happy to drink toasts
To their blood-spattered hosts.




Billy Ray Cyrus
Daughters, Pelvis N' Gyrus.
He makes them rub their wholes
Against child-size stripper's poles.




Barrack Hussein Obama
A G&S 'Operama'
♪ From Finders' foundling found in an old kom-beee ♫
♫ To the very model of a monarch mind-zom-beee ♪

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My blog is moving...

Posted by Unknown 0 komentar
Check out the new one... not done by a long shot... just seems to have more options...
www.erikrhodes.tumblr.com

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"But Mu-u-um! Jane's parents are letting her go to the Klerihoolapalooza!"

Posted by Unknown Jumat, 17 Desember 2010 0 komentar

Paris Hilton is a fan. So is Miley Cyrus. Daniel Radcliffe says they're like the coolest thing ever. For those who don't know, we're talking about clerihews. Say the high priests of the time-honoured, gone-in-sixty-seconds oxymoron we call 'youth culture', clerihews are the next big thing. Frankly this is mixed news for lovers of clerihews: on the one hand there will be more of them; and on the other hand, every word will be spelt with the characters k, z, U, 8, and : )

Next year will see the massive Klerihoolapalooza!™ roadshow, Lady GaGa's clerihew CD I'm Kleri-me, Kleri-you, Kleri-who?, as well as the UN sponsored U2 ⚡ MKleriZOO world tour, a satire with the band as imaginary MKULTRA zombies tasked by their luciferian masters with the soundtrack for a genocidal new world order. And to cap it all off there's the much-anticipated cinema release of the all-clerihew Twilight - I Bight.

What with yours truly always being ahead of the grooviness curve, I thought the least I could do was give everyone a head start so that next time they talk to a teenager they may do so as shining, glib-tongued paragons of contemporaneity.

Robert Gordon Menzies
Was given to quiet frenzies.
The thought of the queen nude
Brought him quite unglued.



Henry Kissinger
Major hair singe huh?
But napalm is more explodier
When you drop it on Cambodia.



Henry Kissinger
Wasn't a cringer.
He felt no shame at all
At the Nobel Peace Prize Ball.



Richard Holbrooke
Liked to cook.
As a Kosher 'Carvier'
He carved up Yugoslavia.



Benjamin Netanyahu
Will die one day it's true.
Would it be poor of a chap to say
God speed that day?



Julian Assange
Won't use a sponge.
This seems to make the Swedish
Come over all knock-kneedish.



Helen Thomas
In hot hummus.
Doesn't she know it's an Israeli dish
Like gefilte fish?



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Julian Assange: His Role in Reality Creation

Posted by Unknown Senin, 13 Desember 2010 0 komentar
The people who rule us know that to behave overtly is death. Thus they are occult, which is to say, hidden. And this works brilliantly for them sure, but it's not without its downsides. Imagine the crushing irony of being a death cult god-king utterly full of yourself - self-impressed beyond all imagining - and having to keep it to yourself. What a bummer. Sure they award themselves honours and knighthoods and Nobel prizes etc. but these are all substitutes, awards they take in lieu of acknowledging their true brilliance.


If only they could crow like a rooster and brag of their real achievements, their true genius, their infinite superiority over the dim-witted masses. Happily for us sometimes they just can't help themselves and they say what they think. Does everyone remember this fine chestnut courtesy of Ron Suskind in the NYT 2004:
The aide said that guys like me were "in what we call the reality-based community," which he defined as people who "believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality." ... "That's not the way the world really works anymore," he continued. "We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality - judiciously, as you will - we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.
That's perfect isn't it? In a real world, that would be headlining the Penguin Book of Quotations, but as things are it will never earn an entry. I actually already wrote about this quote way back when but here now I want to come at it from a slightly different angle: the idea of posited reality and the use of artifice to arrive us there, and also the created realities versus the creation itself.

With the above quote it should be kept in mind that the man saying it is undoubtedly an habitual liar. And Jewish, natch. The odds of the above sentiment being voiced by a non-Jew are so low as to be worthless. The only people to argue otherwise would be Jews - 'If a goy wants a Jew to stand witness against a Jew in a Court of Law, and if the Jew could give fair evidence, he is forbidden to do it' - and goyim who are unfamiliar with the book from which those italics were taken (which is admittedly pretty much everyone).


Where was I? Oh yeah, what with the quoted fellow lying like he blinks, the above quote, whilst telling, is not everything it says it is. For instance, 'we're an empire now' is neither here nor there. What would be more accurate? How about 'we're our own messiah', ha ha ha. The word 'now' is rubbish of course, merely there to put distance between the current shenanigans and what's otherwise been going on for centuries. His other furphy is the use of the word 'actors' to describe himself and his like-minded fellows. They are not actors - they are writer/directors. We, the Christian and Muslim bunnies fighting each other are the actors. We get given our lines and we do what we're told. And all to the tremendous amusement of our master scenarists, sure.

But never mind the lies. In amongst the above quote is a perfect discussion of the dilemmas facing anyone attempting to decipher the auteur's artifice. It's foolishness of course since the artifice is merely a vehicle. Not that we get that of course - we're all too busy with the minutiae. Meanwhile we're being carried somewhere with none of us even aware. We see the scenery outside the window constantly changing but that's what it's meant to do isn't it? It's 'progress' or something. And aren't our feet planted on firm ground same as it ever was? And sure we're moving forward but that's obviously a good thing otherwise why would sportsmen put it in every sentence?


Just now The Illusionist popped into my head. Poof! It's the perfect example of a narrative we didn't need leading us to a posited reality we were always going to get. Punters in the audience follow the plot's twists and turns - 'judiciously, as you will' - all the while utterly failing to realise it's all a con.The truth of the matter is that the film merely exists to lionise Jewish rat-bastardry and to depict those who doubt or oppose the Jewish trickster as flat-footed dimwits who deserve death. The entire film (as are most of them funnily enough) is merely artifice, a variety of reverse engineering to arrive us at the dreamt up Frank Frazetta reality of our Jewish hero triumphant with his foot planted on the corpse of his goyim victim, the deluded but worshipful trophy-shiksa on his arm, and his awe-struck shabat goy step-and-fetchit pleased to have glimpsed such genius.


Jewish people are not geniuses of course - they only imagine themselves so. But if all you get on TV is Jewish imaginings, then how would you know to think otherwise?

Long and short, the only thing worth knowing in any story coming from Jewish sources is that it's a story coming from Jewish sources. In the face of the Talmud's 'Love each other, love the robbery, hate your masters and never tell the truth,' the intricacies of any given plot were always going to be worthless - mere lies to arrive us all at the 2000 year old posited reality of Jews as masters over their goyim hewers of wood and drawers of water. 'When the Messiah comes every Jew will have 2800 slaves'. And of course in the Jewish world of us-and-them and its inevitable self-fulfilling prophecy of 'if the goyim knew what we teach about them they would kill us openly', all goyim effectively qualify as opposition and thus it's necessary we view each other as villains and make war upon ourselves.


And then there's Julian Assange! What's that, Julian? Australian ex PM KRudd said that America should attack China? And the Lebanese said that Israel should wipe out Hezbollah? And the Sauds said that America should cut the head off the Iranian snake? And the Americans said Putin is a Girl who takes it up the jacksy? And the English said the French don't wash, smell bad, and like to make love with their faces? Gosh it just goes on and on doesn't it? And of course always with Israel high and dry - no need to dance between the rain drops since since they're standing well back with their hand on the tap. Laugh? This is more fun than machine gunning Palestinian women and children.


Admittedly, Julian Assange is not Jewish. But gee whiz how many clues do we need as to whose zombified mouthpiece he is? Says Benjamin 'Three cheers for Wikileaks' Netanyahu:
“Israel has not been damaged at all by the WikiLeaks publications. On the contrary, the documents showed support in many quarters for Israel’s assessments, especially on Iran.”
Ha ha ha ha! Very good! And blow me down if Wikileaks' Assange doesn't love him right back:
"We can see the Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu coming out with a very interesting statement that leaders should speak in public like they do in private whenever they can. He believes that the result of this publication, which makes the sentiments of many privately held beliefs public, are promising a pretty good [indecipherable] will lead to some kind of increase in the peace process in the Middle East and particularly in relation to Iran."

God spare me, the butcher of Gaza as paragon of honest government. Hands up everyone who feels sick. And the dead-giveaway dirt continues to come to the fore. This via Aangirfan. Fine - me, I'm taking it as read. (PS - Oh look, the tail-wagged-dog did their bit too. Three cheers).

Not forgetting of course, that: in spite of AIPAC being the single most powerful lobby in the US (indeed none may stand against it); in spite of Israel being called the US's 'number one ally' for no apparent reason and absurdly receiving more US foreign aid than the rest of the world put together; in spite of Anne Coulter ruling herself out of the Neocons on account of not being Jewish enough, and all American policy right up until the other day being routinely described as 'neocon'; in spite of the last couple of years having seen hundreds of Israeli spies thrown out of the States for espionage immigration violations, easily more than every other country put together; in spite of every single one of Obama's 'czars' being Jewish and/or dual passport holders; in spite of the Jewish state seeming to wholly occupy American foreign policy it magically only seems to comprise 0.03% of the various memos that fly backwards and forwards through the Byzantine channels of the US government. The big message from Wikileaks is, 'Israel? Jews? Who? What?'

Hyperbole aside, that right there is what's known in the real world as a complete impossibility. Any punter with even the meanest understanding of the laws of probability would look at that and know that the game was fixed.

Memo
To: Mossad
From: nobody

Hey Boys and Girls, I just thought I'd drop you a line saying how much I love your work, love your gear. And big fan though I am, I thought you slipped up ever so slightly in this wikileaks caper. I mean honestly, what with Israel being the US's number one client state (Ha! Just joking, but you get it I'm sure) what with that as the facade don't you think that it looked a bit ordinary how every country seemed to be bagging out every other country but not a single person in the US had anything to say about Israel? It's a bit weird isn't it?

And sure I know Israel has to be that shining beacon on the hill with nothing bad said about it ever, but I had a thought - what if you had some US criticism of Israel but all from the basis of Israel not cracking down hard enough on the Palestinians? That would work wouldn't it? You could have whomever it is complaining that Israelis are just too big hearted, ha ha ha.

Here's an idea: what if it featured the phrase Israel is soft on terror? Tell me that that isn't the perfect soundbite? You guys of course would instantly come out in righteous indignation saying how untrue it all was and how you were selflessly leading the world in the very important battle against terrorism and to prove it you'd... I don't know, re-invade Gaza or Lebanon or something. But properly this time. None of the pooncing about like last time - imagine killing people in the six digits - wouldn't that be grand!

yours in dreams of bloodshed and carnage,

n

Okay so what was all that stuff about not getting distracted by the narrative etc? Haven't I done precisely that? Well yes, but that's the thing you see: the above chap sneering at us for playing catch-up - 'judiciously as you will' - knows that we haven't any choice. But at least we've got a head start: at least we know to cherchez le Juif. Ayah! There's an ugly phrase, eh? Who knew (back in our former lives) that we'd be uttering such things? But sure enough here we are, and sure enough here they are, hiding in plain sight, daring us to call them out.

Right, so we don't believe anything they tell us and we know that goyim being turned against each other is an inevitability, and... and... that's it, is it? We're going to be lied to and the lie will a neat, easy-to-understand one-off. Somehow I don't think so: as if the masters of the Big Lie would expend this much time and energy on a simple one-fer. Lies this big are always layered. Never mind the onion, any give Big Lie will be like a citadel with successive walls, each to be abandoned with the final never-breached inner sanctum being 'the truth is elsewhere'.


Whilst I was never a big fan of Marshall McLuhan's the medium is the message, I'm thinking it might be useful here, albeit from a sideways direction. In spite of the fact that not one single Wikileaks story went on the Wikileaks website without first being featured in (and of course vetted by) the MSM, somehow all this alleged leaking is the prompt for a discussion, not about the media, but rather the internet. Or so insists the MSM. Well they would wouldn't they?

Under this rubric, McLuhan suddenly becomes right, which is to say, the individual messages don't really count. That doesn't mean that there aren't rules about what the messages may discuss, but we can sum that up by saying that all the topics currently verboten in the media are likewise verboten in the Wikileaks' material. Or to put it another way, there is nothing in there to cause anyone any real trouble. No heads will roll. No heavens will fall.


Or to put it another way: IT'S THE END OF THE GODDAMN WORLD! WON'T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING TO SAVE OUR INNOCENT WESTERN GOVERNMENTS FROM THIS WICKED INTERNET? OH, THE HUMANITY!

And there you have it. A medium that allows the free exchange of information cannot be allowed to live. Every other medium is in the hands of the Jews (in as precise a display of contempt for the medium is the message as could be found) and so it goes for the internet too.

Thinking about it, how much effort went into the media campaign to bring war against Iraq? Now compare war against Iraq with the taking of an entire medium. Believe it or not the latter is waay more important than the former. A people in control of a totality of falsity grant themselves the god-like ability to control the narrative and create their own reality. Thus lesser things like wars become a snap of the fingers.

The net as it stands must be taken - dead or alive, pick one. The falsity must be a totality. Everything else is second fiddle.


Thus: Julian Assange as scarlet pimpernel; the well-meaning but deluded legions rallying around him; our politicians flipping between nonchalance and high dudgeon; the machinations of Swedish justice; the endless carefully scripted talking heads; the earnest blatherings of should've-known-betters; hell, let's just say this whole fucking herculean effort is not here for any run of the mill ginned up wars. Sure they may result since everything is a two-fer minimum but really this is way beyond such lesser topics as this-or-that versions of desired reality. This is about the very ability to create those realities in the first place. Like I said, first comes the lie. Everything is subordinate to this.

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